Ben Affleck Outraged by Choice for Local Employee of the Month


Ben Affleck pleads his case to the public. 
LOS ANGELES - Academy Award winner Ben Affleck took to social media last night to express his outrage over the selection of Jim Ward as January 2013 Employee of the Month for Savusoft, Inc., a company who produces... actually, who knows. It's one of those places where your friend works and they've tried to explain what exactly their company does, but you have no clue. It's either something to do with real estate, fiance, or maybe some computer shit. Who really knows?

"They gave it to fucking Ward?" Affleck posted on Facebook within minutes of getting the news via text message from an unknown source. "I'm really getting tired of Savusoft giving the awards to the same people every month. And it's not like Ward was better than anyone else. He did his job. That's what he's supposed to do. But no, because he's a pretty face in the company, it's like they're surprised when he's anything better than average. It's ridiculous."

Affleck is a known supporter of foreign employee, Chirstolph Jobler, a Canadian, and also the Junior V.P. of god knows what damn department, who had a breakout month, but was largely ignored by the higher ups throughout the "award season," which is traditionally the first two weeks of the month.

"Ward wasn't even close to best performer in January either," Affleck later added in the comments section of his post. "His best work, if you can even call it that, was in the last two weeks of the month when every jagoff in the company stays late and turns in accounts that they save, that's the key, they sit on them, until the end of the month when it looks like they're busting they're ass. But you know, these executives wouldn't know good work if it fucking, I don't know... I just don't know anymore. I thought robbery was against the law. Guess not."

This isn't the first time Ward found himself embroiled in award show controversy. He, along with project co-leader, Gary Mitres, took home a dual award for "Employee(s) of the Quarter - Fall 2006. 

"And when he won that bullshit in 2006," Affleck continued, "he was riding the coattails of Mitres, and everyone with half a brain knows that. For all we know, Mitres secretly did all the work this January again."

In spite of the offer of free soda, cake, and popcorn, Affleck has announced plans to boycott the birthday luncheon/award ceremony that's traditionally held on the last day of the month in the company conference room. 


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