Man Can't Believe How Many Hot Women Enrolled in Local Bikram Yoga Class

LOS ANGELES - It was quite an earful for anyone within thirty feet of Randy Servite, 24, last night as he exited the Santa Monica Bikram Yoga studio. Servite, a recent transplant to Los Angeles from his native Omaha, Nebraska, was heard only a few yards away from the studio yelling into his cellphone by several witnesses.

"Duuuuuuuuuude," Servite said into the phone, "I just took one of those hot yoga classes. Bro, I know.... No. Bro...  Just fucking listen, okay.... No. You're the homo. Listen. Bro, you will not fucking believe what goes on in there. The chicks are unbelievably hot. And they're basically naked right in front of you."

Unconfirmed reports suggest that the person on the other end of Servite's phone was Daniel Levy, Servite's friend from back home who didn't have the balls to pack up and move to Los Angeles four months ago, even after not being able to answer Servite's question as to what in the fuck there was to do in Omaha for the rest of his life.

"I'm not making this shit up," Servite continued. "Bro. Imagine being in a hot ass room, over a hundred degrees, with these actresses and models wearing just enough to cover the goods. Then guess what, bro? They get all sweaty and seriously bro, you see everything.... No, everything.... Do you even know what everything is, you fucking rube? I'm telling you, I saw it all! It might as well be a strip club, bro!"

Servite went on to explain that he especially enjoyed the moves where you bend over and the one where you're on your knees and you lean back and grab your ankles. He was also heard asking the person on the phone to trust him that they don't have shit like this back home.   

"Fuck yeah, I'm going back!" Servite concluded.

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