Man Assures Cashier that John Grisham Book is a "Gift"

AUSTIN, TX - Looking to preserve his reputation at Ulysses' Books, an independent bookstore in downtown Austin, local man Frank Riley, 41, explained that his purchase of "The Street Lawyer" by John Grisham was not for his own reading.

Riley devised the scheme after spending several minutes in line surrounded by people whose impending purchases implied a more sophisticated taste in literature and culture. Further complicating matters was the fact that Riley thought the cashier with black rim glasses and a lip piercing was very cute.

"I knew I had to come up with something," Riley, a self-described "more of a movie person," later told reporters. "It felt like everyone was looking at me like I was an asshole. And it's like, sure, I could grab something like some Russian book or those books near the front that are locally published, but then they'll think 'Jesus, you don't have that already? Okay, poser.' So, I was fucked no matter what." 

Sources close to the bookstore confirm the cute cashier muttered a soft "whatever" under her breath following Riley's explanation that the book was for his boss, who's "really into this kinda stuff for whatever reason. These books aren't even that realistic to begin with. Being a lawyer isn't always this exciting. Trust me. I've never had to punch anybody."

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